Week 7 Picks

Ravens at Bills - Ravens. The Bills offense isn't good enough to overcome this defense. Hopefully Kyle "Give me one more chance" Boller is starting this week. I feel bad for not doing my homework on this one to see if he's actually starting or not. But that's what you get when I'm on fall break and all I do is play video games, watch sports and movies, and drink beer. I think the Ravens offense has enough to get it done.

Vikings at Cowboys - Cowboys. Both teams are not very good against the pass. One of the two teams is a great passing team. The other is a horrible passing team. There's a reason Peterson and Taylor are both getting twenty plus carries for the Vikings. Also, just to mention him, Marion The Barbarian plays against his hometown team from Minnesota. As good as the Vikings are against the run (and they are really, REALLY good) if seven guys can't tackle Barber for a safety in the Patriots game, I think he has a chance to do OK against the Vikes. Not great, but OK. The forecast for this game is windy with a high chance of a blowout.

Patriots and Dolphins - I was tempted to pick the Dolphins to win this one. The '72 Dolphins are the only team not to lose a game in a single season. As bad as they are, wouldn't this be the perfect time to play a perfect game and keep the '72 team alive as the only undefeated team? Unfortunately for them, they could play two perfect games at once and still lose by twenty. Expect a blowout.

Falcons at Saints - Falcons. The Saints really aren't that good. And by saying they aren't that good, I mean they shouldn't have won a single game. They can't run. Drew Brees can't pass. They can't play defense. The Falcons have to be able to take advantage of at least one of these flaws. I think that could be the difference.

Niners at Giants - Giants. Niners sucks. Giants have been playing awesome lately. Game over.

Cardinals at Redskins - Redskins. Leinert is done. Warner hurt his non-throwing elbow. I'll bet they wish they still had Jake The Snake. Plus, the Redskins don't give up points. Look it up. They just don't.

Titans at Texans - Texans. Vince Young just wins games. The dumbest saying in the NFL. Also the most true saying in the NFL. He just does it. I don't know how. But he may not be playing this week (Madden Curse) and that makes them a completely different team. Andre Johnson is back. That should make the difference between these two teams.

Bucs at Lions - Bucs. They're playing much better than anyone expected. Their defense is back to the level they used to be known for five years ago. Michael Bennett is going to have at least two runs this week that makes you think "he's a stud. I'm picking him up in fantasy". He's not. Trust me. Just don't do it. He'll be injured before you know it. And with all that Olympic speed, you're probably thinking he has to break one eventually. Again, no. But Jeff Garcia is the older, slower, whiter version of Vince Young. Which Means? All together now. "He just wins games".

Chiefs at the Black Hole - Raiders. How do you pick between two bad teams? Pick the team with the best play maker. And against conventional wisdom, that's not Larry Johnson. He's looked better the past couple of weeks, but he's done. Not out of the league done. But he's not going for 1,800 yards anytime soon. He'll break a thousand just because he gets the ball thirty plus times a week. But 394 yards, 3.4 per carry, and one touchdown? He used to put up that many yards in two weeks. The X-Factor in this game is Daunte Culpecker. He's Vince Young plus forty pounds and a giant diamond studded silver jalapeno pepper dangling from his neck.

Jets at Bengals - J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! I have no reason to pick them other than the fact that the Bengals are terrible on defense. And Josh Vilma. (One of my friends, a supposed die hard Jets fan, claimed one day that Josh Vilma was awesome. Not Jonathan Vilma. JOSH Vilma. He love sports, bless his heart, but he could use a little work. But I will give him credit on hockey. He knows that).

Bears at Eagles - Eagles. The Bears just aren't good. At all. Not in the least. If I get this pick wrong, there can be only one reason (Not Devin Hester, because I'm already assuming he'll score a touchdown and have over two hundred yards). Brian Westbrook gets knocked out of the game. Without him, I don't know how the Eagles will score.

Rams at Seahawks - Rams. They have to win at least one game. I think. And if they're going to do it, why not against the rival Seahawks? Plus, major Camel Points to Marc Bulger for playing this week with broken ribs. Look for 300+ and four touchdowns. Also, Torry Holt will remind everyone this week that he's one of the best receivers in the league with over a hundred and fifty yards and two touchdowns.

Steelers at Broncos - Steelers. Broncos 75 points for, 136 against. Steelers 142 points for, 47 Against. FORTY SEVEN. Jay Cutler has thrown at least one interception in each game he has started in his career. Look for three or more in this one. Expect a blowout.

Colts at Jaguars - Colts. You can't run on the Jags. The Colts don't do a lot good on defense. But they look better than expected. But do you know what happens when Joseph Addai isn't running the ball? PEYTON MANNING IS PASSING THE BALL. Not many teams want that. Not many teams can stop that. Look for the Colts to get up early and force the Jags to pass, which they don't do all that well.