Dear Marquette Fanatics...

I know you. You go to ALL the games (when someone tells you its a good game). You get wild and crazy (when they play Cotton Eye Joe). You cheer really hard after each good play (but only if its Ousmane, and even then all you do is make an "O" with your arms and yell "OUUUUSSSS"). You cheer everytime Dominic shoots a three (even though two guys were open under the basket). You scream bullshit after the ref blows his whistle (when we are trying to intentionally foul the guy by wrapping him up). You think we're going to win every game (until we miss a couple shots, then we suck). You think we're gonna lose when we're down a couple and walk half way up the stairs to leave (until we make a couple baskets and get back in it, then you knew it all along and were just trying to get a better view). You try to get those around you into the game (then aren't into it when others try to get you into the game). You despise the opponent and chant at them (but only the ones in the crowd while ignoring the game). You wake up at seven in the morning to show your devotion (then spend the whole game asking if everyone wants to go because you're tired). And finally, you drink lots of beers because we're in Milwaukee and we drink lots of beers (then commit the cardinal sin of sports by spilling said beer while celebrating, being too drunk to stand, or out of pure stupidity). Don't EVER waste a seven dollar beer by spilling it unless it's directed at an opposing teams fans who are in clear violation of the Sports Geneva Convention. This includes sitting in your student section and acting like an ass, knowing beer is coming his way without a cup. Yelling obscenities at the quiet fans (If you want a fight, you'll have no problem figuring out which of our fans are willing to talk back and take you out back). Any form of stealing, defacing, destroying, and knocking off of your teams signs, clothes, mascot, or other items that took you time and or money to put together. Spilling beer on you, whether on purpose or not (he'll probably be drunk and cocky, so he won't apologize even if he was pushed or something). And finally, if he takes a dump in your student section, drag him back to the nearest tap and pour Milwaukee's Best on his sorry ass until he smells worse than a dead hooker trapped in a fermentation tank for two weeks.

Marquette Fanatics... I know you. We may not be the best fans, but damnit don't take shit from other teams' fans. After all, we are Marquette. Give 'em a taste of Milwaukee's Best.