Hockey Fights

I love hockey. I'm from Minnesota, what do you expect. It's fast paced, there are exciting goals and saves, big hits, and plenty of action. But one thing stands out, even if you aren't a hockey fan: fights. Everyone likes hockey fights. Well, not everyone. Some of the purists think its a cheap entertainment that takes away from the game. Some of the hockey haters think its barbaric. I don't care. I think its great. Its not like players fight just to fight, or because they think someone was hitting on their wife. A lot of times its to protect their teammates. I'm not going to stop a guy from sticking up for his teammates to the full extent of the rule book. Without fighting, there would be a lot of skill players and smaller guys getting beat on and taking cheap shots. Enforcers make sure that if someone takes a cheap shot at their guy, you better be ready to trade punches. Not a lot of people could tell you who Marcel Dionne is (number 6 on the all time points list) or Vladislav Tretiak (starting goaltender for the 1980 USSR Olympic team). I bet more people could tell you who Tie Domi is or Ulf Samuelson. Enforcers are needed to take care of stars. If Samuelson thought someone was going to make him swallow some teeth after the hit he put on Cam Neely's thigh, maybe he wouldn't have taken so many cheap shots at players. Besides, I like watching guys fight without having to break it up or worry about being involved in it. And when its bare knuckle and lasts for about ten seconds, its the closest you'll come to a bar fight without hanging out with a bunch of drunk ROTC kids. Its sudden, exciting, and over quickly. Then, when its over, the game continues. Its like the little kids who run onto the court during middle school basketball games. Its fun to watch for a little bit, and sometimes you take pleasure in watching a kid fall or get knocked over. Then the real game starts. And if you really don't like it, go get another beer during fights. I mean, you're watching hockey, so you should probably be drinking some beers. And if not? What are you doing watching hockey? Hockey without beer or fights? It just doesn't seem right. Just go back to Dallas and cheer for the team formerly known as the North Stars while sipping on tang.

Football thoughts

10-2. 10-2. 11-1. 12-0. Indianapolis. Green Bay. Dallas. New England. They're pretty.... pretty good. I think Indy is the worst of these four teams. They're 10-2, but I don't think they're that good. Peyton has looked very human this year, and if Joseph Addai wasn't having such a good year, they wouldn't be leading their own division.

Green Bay looked bad against the 'Boys. Mike McCarthy said they had something like 22 mental errors in that game. They hadn't had more than 9 in any other games. So they played poorly. I'm not even going to use Brett Favre getting hurt as an excuse because Aaron Rogers looked really good when he came in. There's only one problem. Every time Favre gets hurt, and Rogers comes in for him, he ends up getting hurt too. He's supposed to be out this week with a hamstring injury. Poor guy. If Favre goes down again this week, I think Oakland could sneak out of Green Bay with a win and Dallas can coast to home field.

I didn't think Dallas was that good all year. I didn't think Tony Romo was that good. I think I've been wrong. I still think the Packers are going to beat them in the playoffs, but Dallas is good. Great passing game, probably second only to the Patriots. I'd put the Packers up there too, but Dallas has more vertical threats, and uses them more. Green Bay is a great passing team, but they're less aggressive, therefore less dangerous. Dallas can also run the ball. Although every time I see Julius Jones in the backfield, I question what Wade Phillips is doing. Barber is a great runner.

The New England Patriots. They're good. They should have lost to Baltimore, but you can't go undefeated without a little luck. That was one of the best football games I have ever seen, right down to the last second Hail Mary that fell two yards short. If this was in the Super Bowl (AFC teams, so don't start) it might have been the greatest Super Bowl ever. It was that exciting. If you missed it, go jump off a cliff. And since Pittsburgh is kind of like Baltimore but better, I'm sure people think they have a legitimate chance to win. I'm predicting Pats win by 30. Don't get all excited. This game will be over at the 8:37 mark in the second quarter.

Pats Packers Super Bowl? I hope so.
Undefeated Patriots? I Think so.
18-1 Patriots only loss comes in Super Bowl? No. 19-0, and shut up Dolphins, because this season is going to be ten times more impressive than your weak, shorter schedule. Not only are they on your block, but you're being evicted and they're tearing down your house and building a bigger one.

Johan Santana and Miggy

Well Detroit and Florida stole the show, at least for a day or two. I have to absolutely praise Detroit on this one. They picked up one of the best hitters in the game and a guy who may not be very good but save your bullpen some innings, or they got a guy who could be a pretty good pitcher. Dontrelle Willis will determine if this trade is a steal, or a good trade. I've always felt that trading prospects for proven players is always a good deal. Yeah, it sucks if you traded the next Sandy Koufax, but how can you know? What I do know is that Miguel Cabrera is a top five hitter in MLB and you know he's that good. I'd take this trade any day. As for Florida, this is what they do. They pick up really good young players for their stars, then in a few years win the World Series. The best thing? Then they trade those guys who became stars for more really young good players and do it again. They're good for a ring at least once every five to seven years because the guys they traded for were good prospects, then become good players, then win, then get traded for more good prospects. They always have good young players, and good young players eventually get good. They just can't keep them.

Now, the area I'm most concerned with, Johan Santana. Everyone seems to be penciling him in for opening day at Fenway. But just because the Yankees "dropped out" of the race, that doesn't mean the Twins should trade him. Yeah, having Ellsbury would be nice. Same for Lester. But it should be both. And a lot more. If the Red Sox get Santana, they might win the World Series four more times over the next five years. Lester won't put up the pitching numbers. Ellsbury won't turn into an MVP. So why does everyone think the Twins will trade for Ellsbury and a couple prospects? The Twins would get ZERO proven players. The Twins should be getting either two absolute stud prospects and a few other very good prospects, or they should be getting two proven players and the prospects. The Marlins got a pretty good haul for essentially Cabrera. You're telling me that the Twins can't, shouldn't, and WON'T get more for Santana? I said a while ago the twins should get Ellsbury (Good prospect) Lester (Good prospect) Kevin Youkilis (Proven player) and another guy, not necessarily an all-star, but you know he can play in the big leagues and you know what he gives you. That's how good Santana is. You're telling me the Twins are going to get two of those guys (i.e. Lester and Coco), and probably the worst two they should be getting? Hold on to him. Tell him you're going to do everything you can to keep him in Minny and keep him a winner. Trade another young pitching prospect for another hitter (Like the Garza-Young trade). Try to win this year. If you do well, you'll make money, maybe you can re-sign Santana, and maybe you can be a really good team. Imagine if the Twins had traded for Cabrera. It probably could have happened. Young, and a few pitching prospects? Maybe would have worked. But Pohlad would never pay, so its foolish anyways. Look to see #57 on opening day wearing a TC on his hat.

The Metrodome: The Only Horse Stable in The NFL

296 yards. 888 feet. Over one sixth of a mile. Adrian F-ing Peterson. This guy is amazing. He's the best running back in the NFL, NO doubt. He ran for 256 yards MORE than LaDainian Tomlinson on Sunday. He already has 1,036 yards rushing through just eight games with an average of 6.5 yards per rush. He may set the NFL single season rushing record as a rookie. That's insane. He should probably be asking for more money already. My usual football Sunday consists of sitting in my living room with my friends eating brats, drinking beers, and watching the Packers. I think I'm going to start going to the bar so I can watch the Vikings too, because A.P. is must see TV. Joe Buck and company keep talking about having the rookie of the year award locked up. Um, how about you start talking MVP? I know Brady is going to win it. But holy shit, if Peterson ran for over two thousand yards and twenty some (or more) touchdowns, don't you have to seriously consider the fact that they have high school quarterbacks on the roster and a head coach who doesn't know how to give Adrian Peterson the ball and he's STILL dominating? I predict he'll be each of the rushing leader, touchdowns leader, and MVP at some point with in the next three years. Hell, he might do all three this year.

How 'bout dem Packers? Again, I don't know how they do it, but damn, if I'm any other team in the NFL outside of the Patriots, I don't want to play the Pack. They can play SOOO bad at times, yet they don't let you get up on them by much or at all. And who didn't see Brett Favre doing something amazing down the stretch to put the Packers in the lead? If they're up, you're not going to catch up very easily. If you're up, it's not by much and you have to stare Brett Favre in the face as he picks you apart on his way to another 300+ yard game or throws a bomb between your safeties for an easy touchdown. When I watch them, I get a little nervous, but the result stays the same. Second best record in the NFL.

The Lions? Are you SERIOUS?! I keep picking against them because I can't imagine a world in which a Barry Sanders-less Lions team wins more than five or six games. I said this week it would be the last time I pick against them if they win just because they're the Lions. Well they won, and pretty damn convincingly. So it looks like I'm picking them next week.

Major Camel Points this week to Adrian Peterson, Drew Brees, and Shaun Rogers. Peterson I've already covered (314 Camel Points, 296 yards, 18 points on TD's). Brees gets 45 Camel Points for throwing for 445 yards. And Shaun Rogers gets 31.7 Camel Points (Because that's how many seconds it took him to run 66 yards for a touchdown) and an oxygen tank.

Look out next weekend for the Vikings over the Packers. I'm scared and it's still six days away.

Parents Don't Let Your Children Grow Up to be Spurs Fans

I came to a realization today. I hate the Spurs. Now I used to hate them. Or at least I thought I did. But now I truly realize I hate them. Not because they win. I actually like dynasties, so it's not that. They represent what is wrong with basketball. Now most people will tell you that they are the epitome of how to play the game (at least at the NBA level). But I disagree. What do coaches tell young kids to do? Hustle, play as a team, pass the ball, and have fun. But that's all bologna by high school, and everyone knows it. Maybe even earlier than that. The way basketball should be played is certainly to hustle, work hard, and have fun. But it's also giving your best player the ball and letting him do something to put it in the hoop. If he can't do it, give it to the next best option, whether they are the next best player or an open player who can make an open shot. So that's how to play right. It can vary at different levels, but there are basic principles that must be observed. Generally all that team work stuff is to compensate for being a bad team or not having any stand out players. As I've said before, the reason Kobe shoots so much is that if he takes thirty shots a game, I would be willing to bet that twenty to twenty five of them were the best chance for the Lakers to score on that possession. So that means he should be shooting it more than the crab fishermen teammates he has. So now that I've explained how basketball should be played, how shouldn't it be played? This doesn't change at any level, and these sort of things would never happen on Norman Dale's court. Whining, complaining, layups with the wrong hand, recklessly dribbling through traffic with your head down and throwing the ball towards the hoop (again with the wrong hand) and dirty cheap shot plays. Does this sound familiar to you? That's how the Spurs play basketball. Tim Duncan whines almost as much as Rasheed Wallace, except he doesn't have a head band to throw. And have you ever seen him after he gets called for a foul? He hits the guy on the head, arm, and body, walks around like nothing happened, then hears shooting foul on number twenty one, and his eye balls pop out of his head, his arms go up, and he looks like someone who just got told there is hard proof that he shot the president, even though the person was watching TV all day. It's despicable. He thinks he can do no wrong. Remember when Joey Crawford kicked him out of the game when he was on the bench? You don't think Duncan was talking shit, complaining about Crawford, or something else completely degrading towards him? Then he made his Duncan face, threw his arms up, then walked off like a victim. Plus he has armpit afros. Gross. Duncan isn't the only whiner though. The whole team does it, they just aren't as good at the faces. Parker and Ginobli are bad at it. Man-ew is one of the worst floppers in the league. I hate when players hit the floor because the wind is blowing. It makes guys who really do give up their bodies look like shams too. Another problem with those two is how they drive to the basket with their heads down, throw up dumb shots with their wrong hand, and either get lucky or a bail out call because that's how the NBA works. You shouldn't drive to the left side of the basket and then shoot a layup with your right hand. You're a pro, and you can't use your other hand? Go back to France. And that final reason I hate the Spurs: Bush league players playing dirty. Bruce Bowen is the second dirtiest player in the league (he would be the run away favorite in this category, but he never grabbed a nut from another guys tool bag during the game... actually Bowen is dirtier, he's probably just too afraid to reach into the tool bag because he might go for the screwdriver). How many guys have to roll ankles on Bowen's foot before this guy gets stopped? How many times can he grab a jersey, arm, pinch your leg, elbow your kidney, step on your foot, or tap your elbow when you shoot? The point of all of this is, don't let your kids watch the Spurs. They play basketball the wrong way. Let your kids watch guys like Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, and why not, Steve Nash. Those three players might have the most passion for the game in the NBA today. I don't think you'll find anyone more driven to win, whatever that takes. Kobe does it by scoring and playing phenomenal defense. Garnett does it with his all around game and desire to do what the team needs him to do, not what he thinks he should be doing. And Nash does it by making those around him infinitely better by his passing and leadership along with clutch shots. Those guys all want to win. And I bet you won't see any of them stepping under guys when they shoot, whining after hacking a guy on the arm (although Kobe does his share of complaining, but mostly on offense and its not so whiny because he looks kind of scary when he does it), or recklessly going to the hoop without knowing their other options and making the best choice (and again, for you Kobe haters, the guy is a great drive and dish player, but he's also a great finisher, which is why he takes the shot a lot). Parents, don't let your kids grow up to be Spurs fans.

Packers Run Over Broncos... Can it last?

I hope you watched Monday Night Football last night. If you didn't, find a friend with Tivo. Watch NFL Network and look for the replay. Or hell, watch Sportscenter polish Brett Favre's Hall of Fame plaque and tell you how amazing the game was last night. Yes, Brett Favre burned what many consider to be the best corner tandem in the league for two long bombs for touchdowns. Yes, they were perfect throws. Yes the receivers did a great job. And yes, I was amazed and excited and confused all at once. The Packers have won games because Brett is doing one hell of a job behind center this year and having fun, completely eliminating the "should he, could he, will he retire" talk. They're winning thanks to a defense that while not necessarily the best ranked in the NFL might be one of the best in the NFL. If you're a Packers fan like me or just happen to watch their games a lot, you've seen how this defense is carrying the team. The only element missing was something that resembled a running game not installed by June Jones. At first I thought it was our running backs not getting it done. Then I thought it was the offensive line. Then I thought it was both. But after watching Ryan Grant go for over one hundred yards last night on 22 carries, I'm convinced the problem was a lack of commitment and uncertainty by players. I know the Broncos are bad against the run. But the line looked like it was opening holes that could result in four or five yard runs. And to my surprise, Grant hit those holes like Captain Ivan Drago hit Apollo Creed. Not only did he get the four yards or so until getting hit, but instead of falling over or getting knocked on his ass (again, like Apollo getting creamed by Drago. "If he dies, he dies"), Grant hit them and fell forward. This guy runs like you slept with his wife then pooped in his sock drawer. I think the Packers finally found a guy deserving to be called the starting back. When the Packers traded for him, he drew a lot of comparisons to Dorsey Levens. Big guy, not the fastest, runs angry and with power. Well, that's what Grant showed us last night. Not to mention the fact that his name sounds like a good running back. Ryan Grant. He sounds like he would be happy nailing railroad spikes or tossing rocks for fun. Brandon Jackson sounds like he should be in a boy band. Vernand Morency sounds like some creepy old guy with really angry dogs (not of the Mike Vick variety). And DeShawn Wynn sounds like an underachiever who went to a big football program and got drafted simply because he has talent and if he gave a crap he might be OK (Anyone else think he gets leg cramps and tired/dehydrated because he has his very own miniature house on the sideline with his name on it, a water dish in front and a couple chew toys inside and isn't used to actually playing? If only he had worked a little harder in college so that playing more than five snaps a game didn't exceed his full allotment for the game). I'm excited for the Ryan Grant era. It might not last past the first series of next week. I can easily see the line missing blocks and letting grant get hit in the backfield where I believe he lacks the elusiveness to miss a tackle or two and gain two yards he shouldn't have. But if the line can give him two or three yards to get a head of steam, he's going to get the next couple. And that's all the Packers need. A running game that will make the linebackers bite on play action and bring the safeties up occasionally, opening up the middle and deeper plays or the catch and runs. Ryan Grant, the Packers were missing one element that kept them out of the elite category. If you can keep this up, we may be the team to beat in the NFC. If not, I hope Brett has enough magic tucked away in that grey beard of his to make some magic happen the rest of the year. But if not, it's not like we're going to win the Super Bowl anyways. I believe the NFL already has the Lombardi Trophy postmarked for Foxborough, Mass.

How to Handle the Best Basketball Player on the Planet

So the Lakers don't know what to do with their disgruntled super star. Apparently they have been in talks with the Bulls every day. The Lakers are asking for Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Tyrus Thomas, Joakim Noah, and someone else to match salaries, not to mention probably at least one first rounder. Now as far as equal value goes, this isn't bad. As far as probability, it's crap. No way do the Bulls get rid of a bunch of young good players. And, no way Kobe gets rid of his no trade clause to play on a team that might be worse than his current situation.

I think for this to actually happen, the Lakers need to concede Luol Deng. If they get Gordon, Thomas, Noah, another decent player, and first rounder I think the Lakers should take it. This leaves Kobe with Kirk Hinrich, Luol Deng and Ben Wallace. That's not a bad start for a team. In turn, the Lakers get something out of Kobe before his value drops next year and before he walks the year after. The Lakers would have a lineup somewhere along the lines of Derek Fisher, Ben Gordon, Lamar Odom, Tyrus Thomas, and Andrew Bynum/Kwame Brown/Noah. I don't think that's a terrible team. It could certainly make the playoffs, with one or two guys stepping up even just a little bit. The Bulls instantly become the East Rivals of the Celtics, making for a good matchup.

Speaking of that matchup, let's go through position by position and see who wins.

Point Guard: Rajon Rando VS. Kirk Hinrich
Hinrich wins big. Even if Hinrich wasn't a good defensive player, Rondo might not touch metal in this one.

Shooting Guard: Ray Allen VS. Kobe Bryant
Ummmm.... do you have to ask? Ray Allen isn't bad, but I wouldn't have him covering Kobe. Kobe can go out there and break ankles. And with old man Allen, he might actually break them.

Small Forward: Paul Pierce VS. Luol Deng
Deng gets a lot of attention and people believe he is a rising star about to explode. But I'll take the guy who's already a star. And, oh yeah, he got stabbed and lived to ball about it. Pierce, by a solid margin.

Power Forward: The Big Ticket VS. Andres Nocioni
This is the biggest mismatch in the whole game. Fortunately for the Bulls, Nocioni won't be guarding KG. But as far as the position goes, KG dominates in every way imaginable.

Center: Kendrick Perkins VS. Ben Wallace
Ben Wallace is great on defense but can't do much on offense, although that might change if Kobe dishes him the ball under the hoop. Oh wait, if Kobe gets anywhere close to the hoop he's shooting it, right? Eh, who cares, he has a better chance of either making the basket or free throws than wallace anyway. Kendrick Perkins is a body. He'll get garbage buckets and rebounds because everyone will be keying on the other guys. Wallace wins. Also, Wallace would be on Garnett and Nocioni would be on Perkins.

In the end I think Kobe's 40 points, Deng's 18 and Hinrich's solid contributions across the board make the difference. Ray Allen probably scores twenty in the first half because Kobe is slacking off him a little too much to help out on other guys. KG goes for 22, 12, and 5, because that's what he does. But I think Kobe turns up the D in the second half and makes Allen or Pierce work on defense trying to stop him to tire them out on offense. This, as well as Kobe going as Ray Allen's jock strap for Halloween, leads to Allen going cold. Final minutes, Hinrich guards Allen, Kobe on Pierce, Wallace on KG, Nocioni on Perkins, and Luol Deng double teams the ball because they don't have to worry about Rondo making a shot from farther out than the defensive circle under the hoop. Last shot goes to Pierce, and there's no way in hell Kobe let's him get off a shot that doesn't look like a sixth grader pretending he's Paul Pierce.

I'd take the Bulls to win over the Spurs in the finals in six games, with Kobe winning it by pushing off Bruce Bowen to hit the game winner at the top of the key. The NBA considers changing the call but then realizes the last time a Bulls player won game six and the finals with a last second push off at the top of the key jumper, it was MJ. Air Kobe's are born. MJ is forgotten in three years, after Kobe wills the Bulls to 73 wins and for the second time Kobe has gone for a threepeat (Lakers and Bulls, and he actually goes on to win four straight. Jordan ever win four straight?). And the best player in the league finally wins some hardware with just his name on it and everyone realizes Kobe is the best basketball player ever.

Why Boston Will Win the World Series... And Why Colorado Might

Five Reasons for Boston...

1. Josh Beckett - He's the best pitcher on either team. He might be the best pitcher in MLB (OK, not really. But he has all the tools to get there, and soon. Like next year soon). He has one of the greatest post-season resumes of all time. This guy gets up for the big ones faster than a fat kid when the pizza guy knocks on the door. And you can't rattle him. He looked legitimately pissed that Cleveland brought in his ex-mattress to sing the National Anthem. And what did he do? He kept pumping high hard ones in there until Cleveland was worn out and couldn't take any more. Maybe her being there brought back some memories.

2. Jonathan Papelbon - Did you see his face after Coco caught the last out in the ALCS? This guy would probably throw knives at batters if it was legal. 98 MPH knives. Instead he throws strikes that people can't hit. Just as effective I guess. This guy will ruin your hopes of a comeback as soon as he locks his eyes on Tek's glove. Papelbon now is like Mariano in the late '90's. He just needs an entrance song that makes people know who's coming and that they should pack their toothbrush because they're going home.

3. Working the count - The Red Sox work the count and take pitches better than anyone, and that especially seems to be the case during the post-season. The Phillies have a lot of guys who like to swing the bat rather than take a walk, and the D-Backs are a bunch of kids who don't know any better. Colorado's pitching has been good, from starters to relievers. But what happens when the Rockies need to use five or six pitchers a game instead of two or three? Even if guys like Francis are pitching well, if he goes 4 2/3, one earned, hundred and ten pitches, who are they bringing in? This Boston lineup is going to expose the weaknesses in the Rockies pitching staff, and they have the right guys to take advantage...

4. Kevin Youkilis, David "Big O" Ortiz, Manchester Ramirez, and Mike Lowell - They're all batting .333 or better in the playoffs. OBP near or well above .500 (except for Lowell, who has no protection in the lineup). OPS's (On base + Slugging %) of 1.314, 1.318, 1.411, and .900 respectively. 40 combined RBI's. 12 home runs and 35 walks compared to 23 strike outs.

5. Four games in Boston - Colorado doesn't have a DH. Boston has one of the best DH's of all time. Boston will be loud and crazy. Oh yeah, and playing in Colorado doesn't exactly seem like the best environment for the Sox. Ortiz has to play first, thin air, cold, and maybe even snow (it snowed today). If they had to play four in Colorado, this may be a different series.


Three reasons why Colorado might win

1. 21-1 over the last 22 - They're hot. Can it continue after a week of making snow angels?

2. Rocky Mountain refreshment - This is similar to number five above. The Rockies have a big home field advantage. If they can take one in Boston, that might be it.

3. Starting pitchers - They have an ERA barely over 2.00. They might be able to keep the Boston bats quiet.

Found a website that lets you know what was the farthest homerun of the year, as well as watch them so you can see how far it went. You can also see almost every homerun by every player. So since the Brewer's aren't going to the World Series, you can still enjoy Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun hitting them out.

http://hittrackeronline.com/index.php


Also, if you like watching dominant pitching, check this out:
http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/media/player/mp_tpl.jsp?w_id=593299&w=mms%3A//a1503.v108692.c10869.g.vm.akamaistream.net/7/1503/10869/v0001/mlb.download.akamai.com/10869/2007/open/tp/archive08/081907_texmin_santana_17k_reel_tp_350.wmv&pid=mlb_tp&gid=2007/08/19/texmlb-minmlb-1&mid=200708192158706&cid=mlb&fid=mlb_tp400&v=2&mType=w&urlstr=&mUrl=&type=v_free&_mp=1

Week 7 Picks

Ravens at Bills - Ravens. The Bills offense isn't good enough to overcome this defense. Hopefully Kyle "Give me one more chance" Boller is starting this week. I feel bad for not doing my homework on this one to see if he's actually starting or not. But that's what you get when I'm on fall break and all I do is play video games, watch sports and movies, and drink beer. I think the Ravens offense has enough to get it done.

Vikings at Cowboys - Cowboys. Both teams are not very good against the pass. One of the two teams is a great passing team. The other is a horrible passing team. There's a reason Peterson and Taylor are both getting twenty plus carries for the Vikings. Also, just to mention him, Marion The Barbarian plays against his hometown team from Minnesota. As good as the Vikings are against the run (and they are really, REALLY good) if seven guys can't tackle Barber for a safety in the Patriots game, I think he has a chance to do OK against the Vikes. Not great, but OK. The forecast for this game is windy with a high chance of a blowout.

Patriots and Dolphins - I was tempted to pick the Dolphins to win this one. The '72 Dolphins are the only team not to lose a game in a single season. As bad as they are, wouldn't this be the perfect time to play a perfect game and keep the '72 team alive as the only undefeated team? Unfortunately for them, they could play two perfect games at once and still lose by twenty. Expect a blowout.

Falcons at Saints - Falcons. The Saints really aren't that good. And by saying they aren't that good, I mean they shouldn't have won a single game. They can't run. Drew Brees can't pass. They can't play defense. The Falcons have to be able to take advantage of at least one of these flaws. I think that could be the difference.

Niners at Giants - Giants. Niners sucks. Giants have been playing awesome lately. Game over.

Cardinals at Redskins - Redskins. Leinert is done. Warner hurt his non-throwing elbow. I'll bet they wish they still had Jake The Snake. Plus, the Redskins don't give up points. Look it up. They just don't.

Titans at Texans - Texans. Vince Young just wins games. The dumbest saying in the NFL. Also the most true saying in the NFL. He just does it. I don't know how. But he may not be playing this week (Madden Curse) and that makes them a completely different team. Andre Johnson is back. That should make the difference between these two teams.

Bucs at Lions - Bucs. They're playing much better than anyone expected. Their defense is back to the level they used to be known for five years ago. Michael Bennett is going to have at least two runs this week that makes you think "he's a stud. I'm picking him up in fantasy". He's not. Trust me. Just don't do it. He'll be injured before you know it. And with all that Olympic speed, you're probably thinking he has to break one eventually. Again, no. But Jeff Garcia is the older, slower, whiter version of Vince Young. Which Means? All together now. "He just wins games".

Chiefs at the Black Hole - Raiders. How do you pick between two bad teams? Pick the team with the best play maker. And against conventional wisdom, that's not Larry Johnson. He's looked better the past couple of weeks, but he's done. Not out of the league done. But he's not going for 1,800 yards anytime soon. He'll break a thousand just because he gets the ball thirty plus times a week. But 394 yards, 3.4 per carry, and one touchdown? He used to put up that many yards in two weeks. The X-Factor in this game is Daunte Culpecker. He's Vince Young plus forty pounds and a giant diamond studded silver jalapeno pepper dangling from his neck.

Jets at Bengals - J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! I have no reason to pick them other than the fact that the Bengals are terrible on defense. And Josh Vilma. (One of my friends, a supposed die hard Jets fan, claimed one day that Josh Vilma was awesome. Not Jonathan Vilma. JOSH Vilma. He love sports, bless his heart, but he could use a little work. But I will give him credit on hockey. He knows that).

Bears at Eagles - Eagles. The Bears just aren't good. At all. Not in the least. If I get this pick wrong, there can be only one reason (Not Devin Hester, because I'm already assuming he'll score a touchdown and have over two hundred yards). Brian Westbrook gets knocked out of the game. Without him, I don't know how the Eagles will score.

Rams at Seahawks - Rams. They have to win at least one game. I think. And if they're going to do it, why not against the rival Seahawks? Plus, major Camel Points to Marc Bulger for playing this week with broken ribs. Look for 300+ and four touchdowns. Also, Torry Holt will remind everyone this week that he's one of the best receivers in the league with over a hundred and fifty yards and two touchdowns.

Steelers at Broncos - Steelers. Broncos 75 points for, 136 against. Steelers 142 points for, 47 Against. FORTY SEVEN. Jay Cutler has thrown at least one interception in each game he has started in his career. Look for three or more in this one. Expect a blowout.

Colts at Jaguars - Colts. You can't run on the Jags. The Colts don't do a lot good on defense. But they look better than expected. But do you know what happens when Joseph Addai isn't running the ball? PEYTON MANNING IS PASSING THE BALL. Not many teams want that. Not many teams can stop that. Look for the Colts to get up early and force the Jags to pass, which they don't do all that well.

Joe Torre is a Genius

Throughout the playoffs and even a good part of the season, Joe Torre's future with the Yankees has been in question. Many wondered if he was no longer the right man for the job (namely The Boss), and even was told that if he didn't beat Cleveland in the playoffs he was gone. Well, they did lose to Cleveland, convincingly at that, and the rumors started flying. Mattingly, Girardi, LaRussa? Some with knowledge believed that George would not be making this decision and that his sons would be. The sons seemed to want him to stay. But everyone knows how The Boss can be. Well as of today, Joe Torre was offered a one year incentive based contract, with an option for a second year if he made the World Series. I assumed Torre would take it and be back for another year of turmoil and questions and get the axe next year anyways. Well Torre could have done the sentimental thing, graciously accepted and promised results next year. He could have considered it for a while to decide what was the best decision. But he did the smart thing. Actually, the genius thing. He told the Yankees to stick it up The Babe's ass. And he should have. No manager with his success and track record should have to prove himself under such scrutiny. I've heard all the talk about him mismanaging his bullpen and all that. How many managers know how to properly manage Kyle Farnsworth? And, it doesn't help when you have starters on your team who can't go more than five innings on a good night. He walked away because the Yankees don't want him there and he knows it. So why accept a one year offer just to deal with a year of questions instead of a month or two of it? Now if the next guy steps in and wins the world series, he's a hero and Torre is the goat that cost them a handful of rings over the past few years. If he loses, its a transition to a new manager. If Torre stayed and won, then he's just doing his job. If he stayed and lost, then it's possible The Boss might hire a hit man. By waiting for the Yankees to offer him a contract and then turning it down, I think Torre showed what he really thinks of The Boss.

(Let's hope the Sox get it done tonight. My friend Ian has claimed all blame for it by not continuing his routine and because he shaved his playoff beard. I'll be doing an article soon on playoff beards and other superstitions to see if they have any effect. Also, NFL picks tomorrow.)

Favorite Sports Related Quotes and Other Random Stuff

Randy Moss - "The realness hurts. The truth hurts. But I keep it real"
and, Randy Moss - "Straight cash homey" (watch until the end)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUF-oGyCyRk

Mike Gundy - "I'm a man" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VytIZZzee0&mode=related&search=

Bobby Knight top ten http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ukj6Qi5W_k

A.I. - Practice? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j-pd2XCY8M

Unforgiveable - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz1nQEQ6UAQ&mode=related&search=

How do you not die? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd1c3br9Lpo

Grandpa, where have you gone? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAXEkJEw4KM

Kids, always wear a rubber http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G9yyD4qrGg&mode=related&search=

Rock n' roll Mcdonalds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp3Cs3tDuR8&mode=related&search=

Why not to drink alcohol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDMcWgocX9I

And finally, my roommate, Ian Parker everyone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kHHcbr512s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca_mOWZ6lzg&mode=related&search=lame%20yet%20funny

Dear Marquette Fanatics...

I know you. You go to ALL the games (when someone tells you its a good game). You get wild and crazy (when they play Cotton Eye Joe). You cheer really hard after each good play (but only if its Ousmane, and even then all you do is make an "O" with your arms and yell "OUUUUSSSS"). You cheer everytime Dominic shoots a three (even though two guys were open under the basket). You scream bullshit after the ref blows his whistle (when we are trying to intentionally foul the guy by wrapping him up). You think we're going to win every game (until we miss a couple shots, then we suck). You think we're gonna lose when we're down a couple and walk half way up the stairs to leave (until we make a couple baskets and get back in it, then you knew it all along and were just trying to get a better view). You try to get those around you into the game (then aren't into it when others try to get you into the game). You despise the opponent and chant at them (but only the ones in the crowd while ignoring the game). You wake up at seven in the morning to show your devotion (then spend the whole game asking if everyone wants to go because you're tired). And finally, you drink lots of beers because we're in Milwaukee and we drink lots of beers (then commit the cardinal sin of sports by spilling said beer while celebrating, being too drunk to stand, or out of pure stupidity). Don't EVER waste a seven dollar beer by spilling it unless it's directed at an opposing teams fans who are in clear violation of the Sports Geneva Convention. This includes sitting in your student section and acting like an ass, knowing beer is coming his way without a cup. Yelling obscenities at the quiet fans (If you want a fight, you'll have no problem figuring out which of our fans are willing to talk back and take you out back). Any form of stealing, defacing, destroying, and knocking off of your teams signs, clothes, mascot, or other items that took you time and or money to put together. Spilling beer on you, whether on purpose or not (he'll probably be drunk and cocky, so he won't apologize even if he was pushed or something). And finally, if he takes a dump in your student section, drag him back to the nearest tap and pour Milwaukee's Best on his sorry ass until he smells worse than a dead hooker trapped in a fermentation tank for two weeks.

Marquette Fanatics... I know you. We may not be the best fans, but damnit don't take shit from other teams' fans. After all, we are Marquette. Give 'em a taste of Milwaukee's Best.

Why I Don't Feel Bad Saying I'm a Red Sox Fan

Since the early 2000's, "Red Sox Nation" had become a common phrase. They were the cursed franchise that people seemed to love. Every year was full of heartbreak, but full of hope at the same time. I did not have the pleasure of suffering my whole life as a fan (because the team I grew up loving was one of the worst franchises of the nineties and almost got contracted because the owner wanted to cut his losses while also watching the greatest sports figure in Minnesota history lose his career to glaucoma that ended one of the greatest players of all time's career... The Puck was a stud, and if you don't believe me watch game six of the 1991 world series. Only Kirby could win a nine on nine game by himself). Why do I love the Red Sox? Although I don't think it's a great reason, but it's because of a few players. Pedro. Manny. Big O (Or Big Papi if you aren't from Minnesota). I LOVE every single one of them. I remember watching Ortiz hit an upper deck home run at the giant inflatable toilet that probably could have taken out Sputnik only to find out back in the dugout that he probably had a broken wrist before the at bat. Every time Pedro pitches you wonder if you're going to see the first person to strike out 27 batters. Pointing to Posada and then pointing to his head and saying something, probably "don't F with me, I'm Pedro F-ing Martinez, I'll drill you in your ear lobe if I want to with a 95 MPH fastball. And you KNOW I can and WILL do it". That's the kind of pitcher every manager wants on his team. And Manchester Ramirez. The guy hits everything for power, walks when you don't give him anything, and hell, he even plays a decent left field. "Manny being Manny" is stupid. But when Manny is really being Manny, he hits for power, average, and gets on base. That's what you want a hitter to do. And he knows he's better than you. You don't see him get drilled by pitchers. They're too afraid because if you hit him in one at bat, you better do it again the next time. And the next. Because he's going to take you deep if you do that. And it's great to send a message, but the message isn't very clear when you give up a 480 foot moonshot the next at bat. The guy is just scary at the plate. Along the time, I've become fans of other players. I like Papelbon, Youkilis, Varitek (even though he said screw you to my beloved Twins when he was drafted and wouldn't sign), Beckett (even though I was in love with him since 2003. Who doesn't love big Texans who throw hard, shutout the Yankees, and spit Beechwood?). The reason I became a fan was a few players. But now I'm a fan of all of them. And unlike most of "The Nation" I actually follow them and pay attention to what's happening with them. So if you have a problem with me being a Red Sox fan, try and tell me you only cheer for your home town teams. I'll feed you dirt faster than Pedro did to Don Zimmer.

Twins Win... With my help

Everyone knows what the Minnesota Twins do well. They pitch, play defense, and score one or two runs, if they're lucky. This is a big off season. Hunter is a free agent. Santana and Nathan are a year away. Everyone wants both Hunter and Santana signed to big money. The Twins payroll this year was around 72 Million. Hunter WILL get at least 15 million. Santana could command upwards of 20 million, probably in the 22-23 million range. That's nearly 40 million dollars of a 70-75 million payroll. The Twins can't hit. Unless Torii turns into Pujols, this can't work. At best, Santana wins you one game out of every five. If we commit 35 million to the rest of the roster, we lose the other four. Last I checked, it's about winning close to three out of every five games. They should resign Hunter (a guy playing for a contract the past two years who put up career years who will be 32 next season, always a bad deal) because he can actually drive in a run. Trade Santana for the Kevin Garnett equivalent (one, hopefully two proven guys who could easily be stars, and a bunch of young guys with high ceilings that have yet to prove themselves). Just don't go for the Randy Moss trade. They got an OK linebacker and the 7th pick. They drafted a guy who never was that good but he was fast. 382 dropped balls later, the idea of drafting/trading for a replacement has left a sour taste in my mouth. Instead, they should trade for hitters. The Twins, last I checked, had around twelve pitching prospects who could be solid or better big league pitchers in the next two years. Unless they want a twelve man rotation, this isn't going to work. Someone has to go. Considering we're going to need big money to keep what little offense we have, let alone dream of improving the offense, we can't spend twenty or more million on Santana. Who could he go to? Well the New Yorks and Boston are obvious answers. The Mets have all these supposed great outfield prospects, but I'm not that excited about the Lastings Milledge era (although I give him ten Camel points for the name). Yankees claim guys like Joba The Hutt and Hughes are untouchable (until Georgey Boy loses his mind again and makes them trade for Santana). Boston? I like it, for both teams (and I am a Sox fan also, bring out the bandwagon talk if you want) Schilling will be gone. Dice is questionable. Wakefield may be done. I know they have a lot of good young pitchers. But how many of them are ready to start on a team expected to win the world series? The Twins need a leftfielder (unless Kubel thinks he's in AAA and hits around 350 with power), and thirdbaseman and a DH. Jacoby Ellsbury, Kevin "He's on first base" Youkilis, some guy who could hit fifteen to twenty homers and a couple youngsters? Gimme that. The lineup would be Ellsbury, Youkilis, Mauer, Hunter, Morneau, Cuddyer, 15-20 homer guy, Bartlett and anyone who can bat over .206 at second. If that lineup has trouble scoring runs, then our only chance is to somehow resurrect The Puck (R.I.P.). The rotation could be Liriano, Garza, Baker, BOOF, and Slowey/ Blackburn/Perkins/ any of the other half dozen good arms we have. You're telling me that teams won't win at least 85 with the potential to win 95?

NFC North Thoughts

Well this is my first attempt in to blogging. I'm directly competing with my roommate Ian on this. He's a better writer than I am, but I think I know more about what I'm talking about. He just makes it sound good. I'm going to start on what I know. And I know sports. Especially football. That's not to say I know everything there is to know, but I have a knack for knowing things that are going to happen. Right now I want to discuss the NFC North. Being from Minnesota and growing up a Packers fan, I've been around both atmospheres for my whole life. Now I'm surrounded by a bunch of Chicago d-bags, so that makes 75% of the division. So I think I'm fairly well acquainted with the division. First off, I'm going with my power rankings, as well as projected finishes.

1) Green Bay Packers. Brett Favre thinks it's '96 again, so I don't care if they can't run the ball. And the defense is playing awesome so far. Jaws called them best in the NFC... I won't argue against it.
2)Chicago Bears. As much as I hate to say it, they win games they absolutely shouldn't. Does this make them good? No. But it makes them dangerous. Rex Grossman, while terrible, wasn't the reason they started so poorly. Griese hasn't been a whole lot better (both have six picks, nine sacks. Maybe the O-line should play better). The defense has been getting worked, and letting Turkey Jizz (Thanks to my friend Pistol Pete on that one) go to the Jets hurts. Benson is running like he could be the Packers' starting back (in case you aren't following the Packers, that means he's not good). Devin Hester Child Molester might be the second most exciting player to watch on any given play in the NFL (more on number one shortly).
3)Detroit Lions. When the Packers and Lions were the top two teams in the North, everyone was surprised. Now the Lions look like.... Not the Lions, but certainly not good either. A lot of weapons on offense (including TE #1, whose jersey reads simply "Christ"... Too bad they run the spread offense too much and don't put him in when they need him), no defense, and a bad GM. Let's see if they make it to six wins.
4)Minnesota Vikings. Whoever the number one college prospect is, the vikings should have him on speed dial. Although they won't get the top pick. "All Day" Adrian Peterson (Most exciting player in the NFL) could try to run backwards and he'd still break five tackles and score a touchdown. On a side note, Marion Barber III breaking anywhere from six to thirty seven tackles while daring everyone to tackle him for a safety and then running it back out to the ten yard line was amazing. Anyways, I'll bet All Day shits six points. Tarvaris Jackson better start hiding toilet paper so he has no where to go but on the field. Best running back in the league? If you had to take someone for the next four years, who would you take? By the way, he also returns kicks, as I'm sure Bears fans know.

Alright, time for where I think they'll finish.

1)Packers (10-6). I think they're good. But they're going to lose some more games.
2)Bears (7-9) If they finish better than this I'll be surprised. If they finish worse than this I'll be surprised. They're the best team in the NFC that has no chance of making the playoffs.
3)Lions (5-11) Having God on your side is good for at least ten wins. Having the devil as your GM is good for five extra losses. You do the math.
4)Vikings (4-12) Unless Adrian Peterson keeps running for 200+ yards (which they barely won) this team is heading for a top ten pick. Is it possible to have a three headed monster at running back? See: Darren McFadden